Depression, man. I think I’ve decided on three things (really five, if you include diet & exercise) that contribute to mine (as I would express them):
- My self image & creative output (they are linked)
- An inability to respond maturely to losing an audience (or the perception thereof)
- Fantastic “predictions” (read: daydreams) that I impose on people; some people I know, some people I see, some people I love, some people I am.
While I put the third one last, I think it’s my recent realization of this aspect of my psyche that has inspired me to change the things that I’ve been meaning to for a while now.
I haven’t done much more than reach out to some people (still unemployed, still eating crap, still sitting in front of a screen all day), but I feel changed. I think I may have actually turned that corner…